I'm beginning to possess a little resentment and exasperation towards my current life. Although ultimately I know that this is perfectly normal at certain stages in our life, I still cannot convince myself nor comprehend this mixed feeling which sprangs itself out of nowhere for almost no reasons.
Week after week passes so swiftly and before I know, half a year will be almost gone. Till now, I don't really know if I like what I'm doing. Although it seems like I do, by going to work earlier than most people and only knocking off work when almost no one is in sight. This is quite direful, for I'll soon turn into a workaholic soon and I don't want that.
Sometimes, I wonder if I'm sub-consciously indulging in work so as to keep my mind on track and not let it wander purposelessly. Move on from my current job? Seriously I haven't gave much thought about it, although I know I should. Well I certainly hope this work indulgence won't carry itself too far...
I was telling Dan that I'm also beginning to loathe the routinised weekends we're spending together, and it's indirectly affecting the quality time we ought to spend together.
I guess I'm really typical of Aquarians, for we always seek change in things and hate to be constrained in a stereotypical box. I can't handle this volatility in me soon and I need a remedy.
I need to seek some excess space to contain myself. But, is there really anymore room for metamorphosis? I really hope to unearth this room soon.
3 comments:
Hi love. I have read thru your sentiment towards yr current life. We all find ourselves in the valley of despair sometimes. It may sometimes seem that we are forever worrying, learning lessons, suffering pain, and facing challenges. But we must try to remember that the fertilizer that helps us "grow" is in those valleys, not on the mountain tops.
During the times that we feel confused, we will always end up wiser and we will grow more from the experiences. We will understand more about people and life, become more sensitive, and we'll be able to enjoy life more after we go through the hard times.
Life has a way of balancing the sorrow with the joy, the disappointments with the hope, and the emptiness with the meaning.
I do hope you're able to realize that even though things look cloudy right now, they'll get better soon. Just remember that it takes rain to make rainbows, and sometimes it takes difficulties to make us stronger and better people. Hang in there, you will see that the sun will shine again soon ... you'll see.
You have already identified the root of your concern. Don't indulge too deeply in your work. Spare sometime to think thru what you really want to do in your life. What you will feel happy in doing for the rest of your life and not monetary aspect of it.
Dear James,
That was a piece of beautiful and meaningful advice. Thanks!
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