And I really begin to ponder.

Did I really bestow you the power to hurt me? If so, I think you have quite succeeded. It's almost akin to die a thousand deaths but after every resurrection , I fail to fathom why I still allow hurt from you to persist.

Truth is, time and time again I have not come to terms with coping the fear of losing you. I have hence chosen to capitulate to my vulnerabilities.

I think I am afterall feeble despite portraying a solitary image and I need a lot of affection as well. Have you ever known?

Have you ever known that you disappoint me at times too? But I never question for once, for I have no rights to. Did that mean I do not have any expectations of you? I'd be lying if I said no. But still, I know I have no rights to.

I'm already disillusioned how enough is enough I need to have, for I breathe on how much you can only give me. And even though you don't give, I survive on my own devotion. And this seems to go on and on.

Now I wished the power I gave to you to hurt me can metamorphose into something you use to bring me out of my own familiar suffering I've been deeply attached to. But I clearly know I can only do this myself.

Perhaps you didn't hurt me afterall. It was just me who inflicted hurt on myself all along, and I don't know how to end this. Awesome.