I have been completely submissive to my own vulnerabilities the past couple of weeks. Numerous imageries and words kept flowing back to me and I wished they just vanish upon recollection. It's hard riddance I realized. Yet it has to be attained no matter what.
It felt like a form of loss somehow. It's unbearable. I don't know how I managed to fight and grapple with my inner emotions the past 2 years. But at least you were still there physically, in good times or bad. You were felt. And I think it was almost sufficient. Of course I was naive to have that thought. But it filled me up and nothing else seemed to matter.
But now I'm fully aware, nothing will ever bring those times back again. And it pains me whenever I think of it. Not even you, as a friend for me. Isn't it? But I can be so sure that I will still be there for you, if you need me to. But I know this does not matter anymore. Because you have someone who can do that for you now.
If true happiness is what you are experiencing right now, I suppose that was the only thing I wished it could happen to you someday.
