caught up

It felt like I've slept for a decade.

But it was just 12 hours long.

Because I've not rested this much for god knows how long.

Thanks to the almost 4 hr gruelling bicycle ride under the scorching sun yesterday.

For someone who has lost all familarity with cycling, I should be quite proud of myself, nevermind the few collisions, partially sun-burnt body and those aching blue-black marks afflicted on my thighs and arms.

Glad I've caught up with lost sleep as well as a sport activity I thought I'll never cross path with again. :)

we

We spoke and shared some of our panoramas on love and human relationships, and I realised perhaps we are searching for something somewhat similar.

There are some emotions I've long forsaken and forgotten how to relive it. But some seemed to be returning back after he reminded me today that fate is the key and you can't run away once you are face to face with it.

It was a nice and uninhibited exchange, and it feels like a precious transaction between two people who will someday down the road, be led into somewhere they are worthy to be at.

distraction

YW advised me to seek another distraction from my current distraction.

But the current is too overwhelming I wished I could totally bail myself out, yet wanting to clasp tightly and never let go.

This distraction is bewildering enough. How to switch to another when I'm already hopelessly distracted?

SIGH.

wrong

Suddenly, what appears to be right seemed to be conjured all along.

I'm always on either extremes.

I'm always stretched to endless limits which should have been a depot somewhere, to nurse the slash marks.

I'm always self-abusive.

I realised this is just a realistic facade all along.

I'm mind-fucked.

Just wrong.

"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."

-George Bernard Shaw

The body feels like it has been battered into a thousand pieces.

Somehow the soul doesn't seem to synchronize anymore.

All things meaningless now have never appeared to be so substantial before.

I believe unwinding back to that narrow enchanted path is near again.

sub-conscious

I've been pondering about the degree of sub-consciousness I possess, and slowly beginning to mull over people's as well.

Just how powerful this sub-consciousness is?

Are we consciously aware of our sub-conscious thoughts and emotions? Or we refuse to be conscious of it?

Will it translate into reality?

Is it a genuine reflection of our heart's most devoted yearning?

Sub-consciousness. I've been indulging in it and I wonder what it will turn me to.