30/11/07

What a spiritless and non-constructive Friday to mark the last day of November.

I mentioned about looking forward earnestly to December due to the festive month and seemingly loads of activities to fill me up. But well, sometimes being overly engaged in these kinda activities simply just weigh you down and unknowingly, causes certain stress hormones in your body. Ha. Perhaps I just prefer things as simplistic as it can be. No fuss, no hassle. I just feel that I'm beginning to fear the upcoming month.

I wonder when I can finish buying the x'mas gifts for the long list of friends and colleagues. Well it's actually quite fun to mall-hop sourcing for x'mas gifts. Urm, but if the shopping list gets too long, then of course it can be agonising. Argh. I need to set a deadline for myself. By 9 Dec it shall be!

Okay, I also need to be extra disciplined in my running and workouts. You see, who can resist the temptations of such sumptuous and gastronomic buffets this festive month? I already have 3 dinner buffets arranged and lined up for me. Blissful and sinful at the same time. I'm going to eat in moderation, I mean I will try. Hmm...

Reached home at 8pm today. Dan did not meet me as he'd to prepare for his paper on 3 Dec. Hardworking darling! It's quite unusual to be home so early and especially on a Friday. Well I intended to subdue myself from the crowds who are now in town jostling with each other. I needed some peace and gratification, like now.

I wanna rekindle the feeling of solitude again...

Melancholy

I fully grasp the excruciating pain and agony of the families belonging to the 5 young rowers who have deceased due to the unfortunate accident in Cambodia.

While I was watching the news just now and saw how their families mourned and had to brave through this crisis with a heavy heart, tears welled up my eyes. These 5 young able men had so much in life that's expecting them to accomplish and excel. And now their demise will linger forever tinges of grief and sorrows amongst their families, friends and love ones. This is so uncalled for.

I sincerely hope that they will be able to rest in peace and bless all their love ones wherever they might be.

"Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life." - Bertolt Brecht

Retail Therapy

I need to do some serious shopping today. Not due to the festive season but for myself.

Do you realise that sometimes you indulge in immense activities but not realising that you're depriving yourself of the needs that you actually deserve? Life is constantly taking its toll on us, just a matter of how well we are able to swallow it. And if we fear to confront, why not embrace?

I can't really remember when was the last time I seriously shopped, not just simply window-shopping. I probably need some retail therapy, and that doesn't constitute to spending lavishly on branded goods and all. I guess I can never ever comprehend ladies who can cough up exorbitant amounts of money on branded goods. Sometimes, it's not whether you can afford it but rather, do you need it? Do you exactly appreciate the quality or just adore the brand naively cuz everyone has it and it's a symbol of status?

I like to shop by myself and that's my form of retail therapy. Perhaps at the end of the day I might not end up with any significant purchases, but I know it's almost remedial for the mind, body and soul. I think this is the most important thing. :)

An account of a fatigued day

I am utterly immersed in pure fatigue... but it's only mid-week!

Oh well, at least I know after today, I can smell the weekend soon. You see, I've this same feeling every week. Isn't it a sign of routinity? Indeed it is. Everyone will not disagree with me. Ha.

I'd a long meeting today with my bosses and fella-colleagues to discuss on the department's issues, particularly the Xmas party. It's actually my first time getting involved in all these organising of activities and gosh, there's really quite a lot to act upon. I guess it's partly the lengthy meeting that kinda drained my brain cells, thus making me worn-out. Okay, I need some creative juices now! Looking forward to the consequential events that are going to happen following the festive season.

Uh. The cause of my fatigue doesn't end there. I went for kickboxing after work. Supposedly to rejuvenate, but it exhausted me even more. I couldn't feel as much adrenalin burning today as compared to previous classes, and we did this hip and leg exercise which actually could help us to improve our side-kicks. Ouch, that seriously hurts big time.

To make things worse, I waited faithfully for a whole 45 minutes for bus 65 at Dhoby Ghaut before I realized that the bus will not be coming any sooner and when more and more swamps of people began to flood the bus-stop. Thinking that to hail a cab at that point of time will be futile, I went to take the train heavy-heartedly, feeling bushed and famished. How unfortunate, must be the Asean Summit happening in town, I thought to myself.

Alright, it's time to replenish and restore! Off to slumberland...

X'mas is in the air...

It was heart-warming and peace-filled for me (despite the crowd) when I aisled down Orchard Road yesterday.

Yes! Christmas's knocking on our doors once again. The familiar festivity that always
overwhelms our senses and transcends us into the brand new year thereafter. I'm gonna rejoice in the proceedings of shopping for presents, receiving presents and most importantly relishing the Christmas spirit! Geez, I sound kinda holy don't I? Hiaks.

I need to plan all my agendas and schedules properly from today onwards and making sure that I do not miss out anything/anyone essential to execute/meet.

Time just seems so tight from now till end of 2007! I hope to achieve the most of it to make 2007 a remarkable one while I can. :)

Resolutions

When every year begins to come to a closure, you often hear people reciting animatedly on their upcoming new year resolutions, be it attainable or not. And of course, you also hear people exclaiming that there is no such need to make resolutions because they never fulfill it anyways.

If resolutions were set on a unrealistic platform, or for the sake of just setting because it makes you feel better, then definitely it defeats the whole purpose.

It's strange that I am talking about resolutions now as for the past 26 years 11 months and 17 days, I never made any because I know I really will not execute the resolutions. However having said that, I was reminded abruptly on the bus journey home just now that I had lost track of what I've done for 2007. This is horrendous upon realisation.

I finally deciphered that I'm not getting younger and that I should feel and contain more responsibilities in my life. I mean, it's saddening to realise every year passes by you without a wink, and yet you don't feel any impact. Yes, life goes on. But life can't just go on like that. It'll ultimately reach a meaningless standstill.

After thorough introspection, I'll be setting the following resolutions for 2008:

• to shed 5 kg more by April
• to learn Japanese language before I visit Japan, hopefully by September
• to join the Standard-Chartered full Marathon in December
• to start reading again as I've stopped reading for donkey years, books I mean
• to learn cooking

Well, I think that will be all for now as I don't want to over-declare and not accomplishing it. They should all be attainable, but only countable on my absolute conviction and genuineness.

Resolutions, here I come.

Mindless Thoughts

It has been a week of amalgamated and heedless thoughts so far.

Nothing factual or substantial seems to evolve from doing everything.

I feel disoriented, and somehow adrift amidst the hectic yet predictable agenda.

What a lousy feeling. I detest this emotion.

Am I astrayed in a paradoxical situation?

Have lonesome memories came back for more lingering?

I need to redeem myself from these weave of mindless thoughts.